50 Amazing Quotes of Tamale Mirundi that will make you Smile
Tamale Mirundi is one of the famous politicians in Uganda, well known for attacking the opposition on various issues.He has not only stopped at attacking the opposition but has gone ahead to attack some officials from the Buganda Kingdom especially the Buganda Land Board plus various other government officials including Jennifer Musisi who works as the executive director KCCA. We have made a collection of close to 60 of his popular quotes which did not only stop when he said them but have been making rounds throughout the country and the neighborhood. Here they are the quotes of Mr Tamale Mirundi.
1. If it was about showing might, don’t u think in-laws would go to the bride’s family for introduction naked?
2. No matter how sweet the ejaculation or orgasm is, an individual cannot smile during the process..
4. You’re a woman you have attended more than 15 weddings this year and you’re still single not yet married. Are u a cake or a tent?
5. If Miria Matembe is a strong woman, why didn’t she give birth with her knickers on.
6. If you go to a bar, spot ugly girls properly, if they start looking beautiful it’s time for u to go home.
7. How can u ask a Muslim whether to be served fried or roasted pork? When asked to choose between Besigye and Mbabazi
8. Some men don’t know how to Romance women.. They only play with their nipples as they are tuning radio stations.
9. Nze nemala nfa Katonda nangamba nti ampe omutwe gwa kenny lukyamuzi nzilemu obulamu, mugamba nti abileke nsigale mu bafu naye nga tampade ngalabi!! (If I die and God gives me a single chance that he gives me the head of Ken Lukyamuzi amd I come to back tolife again, I tell Him to spare me, I better keep dead than having an empty head which is like a trumpet)
10. Mbu Faaza Ayise Abawala Emberera Abaseko Emikono , Ne Nalongo Nagenderamu. (Priest calls the virgins to put their arms and even the Nalongo raises hers)
11. However much you shake your small man, the last drop belongs to pants.
12. Nalongo adduse mu kisenge nga gwe embeerera osembera. . Okwambala G-string kiringa kuddira akakoola nobikka kumuwumbo (When a Nalongo runs from the bed room limping, the virgins should not come nearer.
13. You complain of fuel prices as if u bought the vehicle knowing it consumes milk.
14. Nze siwunyikamu ninga katuli ka Tooyi (You one can poke his nose onto me, I am like the opening of the pit-latrine)
15. “Just because she says she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t chew her. Just because there’s a goalkeeper doesn’t mean you can’t score”
16. Bwolaba muwala wo nga abavubuka Ku kyaalo bamusimbira line tewewaana nti mulungi nnyo, kitegeeza mugabi nnyo. (When it’s your daughter all the time with guys lining up for her, don’t boast she is beautiful. It simply means she can easily give in to s3x.)
17. Some fools instead of sleeping, are busy texting someone’s girl friend.
18. When you eat thorns u suffer constipation
19. A girl can only undermine a man’s size if never been raped before
20. Bwolaba nga mwanyoko anobye mu bufumbo yagenda ne gomessi Taano ate nakomawo nabbiri totawaana nga okwasamya engalabi yo, coz kitegeeza ziri essatu yazireseeyo nga alina okuddayo. (When your sister divorces with her husband but out of the 5 outfits she went with, she has only come up with 2, don’t open your mandibles shouting at her husband. It simply means she is getting back, that’s why she left the other clothes there)
21. If it’s true you are a Muslim and the price of pork rises why do you join those striking?
22. He who sleeps with an itchy anus wakes up with smelly fingers
23. The cardinal Priest cannot fundraise for a witchdoctor’s shrine-
24. “If a General can be arrested and the nation remains stable, these are achievements of the revolution.”
25. Noolaba agassajja agakola agatwe gengege
26. Mbu olubuto luyingila baseka naye emilanga gyebazalira. (People are happy during pregnancy conception enjoying, but when giving birth, only tears)
27. Akana akabade kakuyitira mukomusaja, bwosanga kava ewuwo. What do you think? (If you find that kid who has been helping you call married women for you, coming from your own home, what do you think?)
28. You can’t get married and remain a virgin
29. “The mouth that runs faster than the head will be cut off”
30. You don’t booze, you have no girlfriend and you still complain you are broke yet your friends who empty bars arebuilding n excelling
31. Buli bwempulila Kabaka bbaffe baffe nga enyuma enkakana
32. If a man impregnates his two wives at ago and they give birth at the same time, it doesn’t mean he’s a twin father (ssalongo)
33. A baby can play with de mother’s breasts but not de fathers testicles.
34. Akamywu kange lwekabuze embwayo lwelya ebyoya?(When my rabbit is lost, that’s when your dog is eatingsomething with fur”
35. You don’t run around with Besigye when you have Doom. He’s a cockroach
36. Ten impotent men cannot rape a virgin girl” Referring to Museveni and his competitors!!
37. Ababbi Bwebajja Okubba Mukaziwo Nareekaana Ntii, Mwami Tebayingira Mukisenge Ekyokusatu, Ngolina Kyewasamu, Omanya Mukaziwo Yomu Kubabbi. (If goons enter in your house, and your wife screems ‘darling make sure they don’t enter room No3’ when actually there is a valuable thing that you placed in that room, no she is part of the thieves.)
38. “Some Girls will be afraid of killing a Coackroach but have the heart to Abort a baby. Emitwe Ginno.”
39. “Foolish Ugandan Men, You want to be wise and you only dating one girl, is that what king Solomon did?”
40. “I don’t believe in family planning. I am the 9th born out of 11 children. Had my mother only stopped at 2 children would you have seen me?”
41.“How can you say Museveni has not created Jobs when you demonstrate by walking to work, emitwe giino”
42. “The first man you dated dumped you. The second one dumped you, even the third. Don’t you think you are the problem?”
43. “If you are a girl: you sneeze and your boobs don’t move; you are a boy! It’s in the constitution.
44. If you lose your girlfriend in a crowded bar, just start talking to a hot girl…she will somehow find you in less than a minute.”
45. “Bible doesn’t support sex before marriage, and I don’t see the Bible said men should shoulder girlfriends’ responsibilities before marriage.”
46. “Even Jesus knew that lawyers and judges are confused that’s why he advised settling things first at home!”
47. “Museveni can’t fire me.” While refuting rumors that he was being replaced by Sarah Kagingo
48. “Why should you be worried when an impotent man eyes your wife.” While commenting on former VP, Prof.Bukenya’s presidential ambitions.
49. “There are people in Mengo who think we were born to work for them, which I don’t agree with. Lastly, I would like to tell you that I don’t fear anyone. If you slap me, I will draw a gun at you, shoot and kill you.”
50. “Besigye has shares in teargas factory.” On why Besigye could not stop his walk to work protests.
51. “Bukenya is now a village chief.”
52. “Do you want to tell me that when you detect a rat in your house and buy poison, it is a wrong thing? Is that a bad strategy,” on why government was buying military weapons.
53. “I am able to reason because I grew up on a good diet. My father used to buy big mature fish & I would eat the head. Many of our people have grown up eating junk food, which is why they lack logic. I am an expert on propaganda, the reason I have managed to floor all my opponents.” On how he maintains his high reasoning faculty”
54. “The moment you make your job attractive, you are finished.” On why he enjoys doing hard-jobs like speaking on the president’s behalf
55. “Boda boda riders now have a prolonged time to stay for they are part of the national budget. First time for Uganda to pay almost all its budget. Its only sick people that did not understand the budget.” Commenting about the 2013 Budget
56. “I predicted that there are thieves in Kampala Capital City Authority.”
57. “Don’t burn down a whole building because you need to kill a small gecko Lizard.”
58. “Power Sharing is a myth: No Government will ever allow this because it’s a myth. Also no government will ever give Mengo federal. If i may ask which power is Mengo talking of Sharing. How come they never asked for the same in the past regimes?
